*sigh*

Ok... Things are getting better now... I don't need to worry anymore... I think.. Ohwell... There's nothing I can do bout it anymore... The thing is I don't care anymore... Whether I like it or not... It's not in my own decisions to make... They want me to be like this, then it's fine with me... Just go with the flow.. Like they said, it was for my own good... Good for what? For doing things I don't want? For always pleasing them? Come on! How bout what I feel?? Don't I have the right to do something for myself? Do what's good for me... Not for them.. It's always them... What bout me? I have my own needs also... Ugh! I'm tired of this shit... I'm already fed-up.... *sigh*

I want to have my own life... I want to run away... I want to go somewhere I can do what I want... Go somewhere I can be myself... I'm tired of this... God give me strength... I don't know if I can still hold on... I want to give up.. I want to just drop dead... This is bullshit... All the anger I keep hiding inside... I want to let it all out... I want to f*&cking scream... I want to yell at them that I don't need them anymore....

But, honestly... I still need them... I need them... I'm just a young soul who just want to be free...
Someday... Someday you'll see... I will try my wings... I will fly freely away from all of you...

You'll see...

I love you, Goodbye.. part 2

It's not what I want... What I want is for you to understand that I am hurting too much already... Can't you even consider that? I just want you to listen to whatever I want to say... But you're too stubborn to do so... You only listen to yourself  and to the people around you... You don't listen to me!! You know that I hate myself for that... You know that I can't move forward without you by my side... You  know that you're the only one that can help me with this pain that I'm going through... But you're not there... You're with your friends, having fun while I'm here crawling on the ground... Wounded... Half-dead already... And needed an arm to hold on to... You know that you're the only one I can turn to... But where on earth are you?? *sigh*

If that's what makes you happy... I will let you go... Just tell it to my face that I'm not needed anymore... Don't just go without even saying goodbye... And left me here... Without nothing...

Just go now... I will not stop you... Just tell me that you loved me... And tell me GOODBYE... That's all I'm asking... Nothing more....

So, It's goodbye... OK! GOODBYE.... But I still LOVE you... Always remember that... I will always love you more than anything else... I love you... And goodbye... I hope you're happy now that I let you go...

Goodbye... =|

I love you, Goodbye..

I love you, but I'm tired now.......

I love you............ But I can't do this anymore....

I love you............. But I'm pretty damn sure that I don't know anymore.......

I love you................ But I have to go now..

I love you............................... Goodbye........ =|

I'm so sick and tired of the bullshits your giving me.......

I'm so fed-up with your sorry and promises.....

I don't know if I can still go on with this....

But I love you.....

That's why I'm letting you go....

I'm letting you see that you can never find someone better than me.....

I love you.... So I'm going to let go now... Cause I love you.....

I just want you to be happy...

I love you.........

Goodbye..... =|

UNWANTED

Unwanted.. That's me.. Nobody wants me in my family.. They think I can't do a thing or two.. They think I'm a failure.. Sad to say, but that's the way I think of myself now.. I am unwanted.. I'm just an extra luggage.. I'm just a pain in their ass.. *sigh* I'm getting tired of this shit.. I don't know where I belong right now.. I don't know how to handle things on my own.. I don't have friends that I can turn to.. I don't have someone I can rely on to..

Grrr!! I need to help myself.. I need to get them to like me.. I have to do something.. I have to please them.. Do I have to? I don't know.. I don't want to think anymore.. I want to remove all the negativity in me.. I want to change the way I think.. Change my ways.. *sigh*

I don't know where to begin though.. I don't know how to start.. I don't know if I can still beat the odds.. This is shit.. I need something or someone I can get my strength from........... =|

"Books are my friends, But I need real friends"

Hi... It's me again... Hmm... Let me tell you something bout myself...

I am just an ordinary guy... A nerd.. As they say... I read a lot... Fictions, sci-fi, horror, action, adventure, etc.. I don't recall how I started reading though.. Haha.. All I remember is that books are my friends.. They're taking me away from pages to pages of words... I can make my own world inside the book.. I feel like I'm part of it.. I feel like I'm one of the characters in it.. Weird? Yeah, I know...

I don't mingle much with other people... I'm a shy type.. I don't like being around with a lot of people... I feel like I can't breath.. I feel like I'm going to lose control... Call me crazy... But this is me..

I stayed a lot in the library at school... Books are my sanctuary... At home I'm always in my room with my books... My mom always getting mad at me cause I don't go out and have fun... For me, books are fun... Right? They are my friends... Real friends who I can rely on... Tsk..

They say, I need to talk to somebody... A friend of mine told me to go online and try doing something new... He's an online friend though... I didn't know him in person... But he gave me an advice.. He said I have to meet up with other people.. I have to reach out... So, here I am now... Here in Blogspot... Blogging... Trying something new... Instead of reading a lot... I'm trying to make my way to make friends with others.. Thanks to that guy who told me that life is beautiful... Enjoy it while you can...

Hahaha... Thanks Mars.. Even though I barely know you... You gave me a reason to smile again... Hope to see you someday... Thanks... =)

I am, What I am...

I am what I am... You cannot change me.. You cannot tell me what to do... You cannot tell me how to think.. You cannot tell me what I want... I am what I am..

I don't care what other people may say bout me.. I don't care what they think of me... I can do whatever I wanted to do... I can say what I want to say...

But, that's a lie... I am weak.. I am no one... I am just a simple guy who wants to be someone... *sigh*

I can't be someone... I've got to be me... I've got to be what I am... And this is me...

Fragile, alone, lonely... An outcast from the world...

People despised me.. They pitied me.. They think I am worthless.. They think I can't do anything right... They think I am meant to fail every time... And it hurts me... :(

I know I made my share of mistakes in my past... I was wrong... I'd learned my lessons already... But they can't even consider that!

I'm tired... I am sick of this... I need a change.. I need to show them that I am not a worthless being...

I AM WHAT I AM!! So deal with it... You can push me down... But you can never break my spirit!

Just venting... =) CHOW!

Hello

Hello bogspot.. =)